HEADLINE: Time Magazine: How Barack Obama Became Mr. Unpopular
What We Learned Today…
…Time magazine names President Obama ‘Mr. Unpopular’; wonder who will win most outgoing and biggest flirt?
HEADLINE: White House: No second stimulus being considered
What We Learned Today…
…White House shocks the world by admitting they actually “consider” things.
HEADLINE: U.S. government sues Ariz. sheriff in civil rights probe
What We Learned Today…
…Obama’s government ignoring illegal aliens so they can put all their time and energy into going after the real scourge of American life, sheriffs.
HEADLINE: Author Hawking Says God Not Needed for Creation
What We Learned Today…
…Hawking paving way for single-Goddess to have their universes.
HEADLINE: T. I. Is Arrested
What We Learned Today…
…T.I. was the police’s initial suspect.
HEADLINE: Environmental Militant Killed by Police at Discovery Channel Headquarters
What We Learned Today…
…pilot for “Man vs. Cable Network” goes terribly awry.
HEADLINE: Sarah Palin’s plans mark change in posture toward Iowa
What We Learned Today…
…people actually posture towards Iowa.
HEADLINE: Sen. Murkowski’s defeat marks major tea party win
What We Learned Today…
…Murkowski is going back Nome.
HEADLINE: Young, single, childless women out-earn male counterparts
What We Learned Today…
…taking care off a houseful of cats really frees one up to earn a lot of money.
HEADLINE: Apple Tries Again at TV
What We Learned Today…
…finally there’s a company with the vision to bring “Jersey Shore” to our iPhones.
HEADLINE: Obama declares ‘combat mission in Iraq has ended’
What We Learned Today…
…thank you, congratulations and welcome home to all of the men and women who fought and sacrificed in Iraq; God bless you and your families.
HEADLINE: Obama Marks End of U.S. Combat Mission in Iraq, Salutes Bush
What We Learned Today…
…President Obama celebrated the end of U.S. combat mission in Iraq by holding a monotone reading of a rather well-written speech in the Oval Office.
HEADLINE: Matthews: Obama Is “Almost Pluperfect & They Don’t Like Him!”
What We Learned Today…
…someone didn’t get their nap today.
HEADLINE: MSNBC Host Claims ‘I Could EASILY Out-Draw Glenn Beck’
What We Learned Today…
…MSNBC can’t get 500,000 people to watch their network much less attend a live event.
HEADLINE: John Cusack Calls for ‘Satanic Death’ of Fox News, GOP Leaders
What We Learned Today…
…at least one blogger has bought his last ticket to a John Cusack movie.
Posted in WWLT
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Tagged Almost Pluperfect, Bush, combat mission, fox news, Glenn Beck, Iraq, John Cusack, Matthews, MSNBC, obama, Satanic Death, U.S. Combat Mission in Iraq
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HEADLINE: Two Men on United Flight from Chicago Arrested on ‘Preparation of a Terrorist Attack’ in Amsterdam
What We Learned Today…
…it’s 4,000 miles to Amsterdam, the plane has a full tank of gas, we have a bomb, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
HEADLINE: Education secretary urged his employees to attend Sharpton’s rally
What We Learned Today…
…judging from the turn out at Sharpton’s rally the Education secretary has two employees.
HEADLINE: Independent Audit Panel Slams U.N.’s Climate Group
What We Learned Today…
…global warming was fun while it lasted.
HEADLINE: Scientists Baffled by ‘Bootprint’ on Mars
What We Learned Today…
…David Bowie less popular song, “Bootprint on Mars.”
HEADLINE: Obama Health Secretary: ‘We’ve Got a Lot of Reeducation to Do’
What We Learned Today…
…health secretary says they have a lot of ‘reeducation to do’ after months and months of telling people everything about the Obamacare.
Posted in WWLT
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Tagged 'Bootprint' on Mars, Amsterdam, Chicago, David Bowie, Education secretary, Obama Health Secretary, Preparation of a Terrorist Attack, Reeducation, Sharpton's, U.N.'s Climate Group, United Flight
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HEADLINE: Obama says he isn’t worried about Muslim rumor
What We Learned Today…
…Obama doesn’t worry because he knows Allah will take care of everything.
HEADLINE: National Mall Left Spotless After Beck Rally
What We Learned Today…
…Conservatives are tiddy people.
HEADLINE: Brewer condemns report to UN mentioning Ariz. law
What We Learned Today…
…apparently the Americans who have their human rights violated by invaders means nothing to the UN.
HEADLINE: ‘Idol’ Still Trying To Get Elton John As Judge
What We Learned Today…
…American Idol looking to replace one bitchy Englishman with another.
HEADLINE: Modern Family Ends 30 Rock’s Win Streak; Mad Men Three-Peats at Emmys
What We Learned Today…
…shows that nobody watch get rewarded for the things that make them unwatchable.
Posted in WWLT
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Tagged 30 Rock, Ariz. law, Beck rally, Brewer, Elton John, Emmys, Idol, Mad Men, Modern Family, muslim, National Mall, obama, UN
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HEADLINE: Glenn Beck calls for national revival
What We Learned Today…
…no one called for a national revival when President Bush was in office.
HEADLINE: Beck, Palin tell thousands to ‘restore America’
What We Learned Today…
…according to mainstream media’s math “hundreds of thousands” equal “thousands.”
HEADLINE: Beck: Help us restore traditional American values
What We Learned Today…
…Beck called on Americans to restore traditional American values and did so without the help of his chalkboard.
HEADLINE: Beck rally signals election trouble for Dems
What We Learned Today…
…it’s official, the Democrats have done such a bad job that everything signals their election trouble.
HEADLINE: Al Sharpton’s ‘Reclaim the Dream’ march
What We Learned Today…
…Sharpton’s gets the benefit of the doubt as his event is called a “march” instead of “a few people walking down the street together.”
HEADLINE: New Immigration Policy to Halt Some Illegal Immigrant Deportations
What We Learned Today…
…apparently the Federal Government doesn’t understand the meaning of “illegal.”
HEADLINE: Beck-Palin Rally in Washington Drawing Supporters of `Babies, Guns, Jesus’
What We Learned Today…
…sounds like Beck knows how to throw a party.
HEADLINE: Bernanke Gives Few Specifics On How Fed Will Help Ailing Economy
What We Learned Today…
…the Fed has no idea how it will help the ailing economy.
HEADLINE: Downward revision of GDP growth a strong signal of stalled recovery
What We Learned Today…
…okay, okay, ‘Recovery Summer’ starts… now! How about now!…. Now?
HEADLINE: Stephen Strasburg likely to have ‘Tommy John’ surgery, may miss 2011 season
What We Learned Today…
…ESPN now has to find another young athlete to destroy with high expectations and unwarranted hype.
HEADLINE: Andrea Bocelli To Perform At New York’s Famed Metropolitan Opera House
What We Learned Today…
…every husband in the New York area is praying they have iron-clad plans for Feb. 13, 2011.
Posted in WWLT
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Tagged Ailing Economy, Andrea Bocelli, Beck-Palin Rally, Bernanke, Fed, GDP growth, Illegal Immigrant Deportations, Metropolitan Opera House, New Immigration Policy, Recovery Summer, stalled recovery, Stephen Strasburg, Tommy John surgery
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HEADLINE: Carter wins release of American from North Korea
What We Learned Today…
…North Korea releases American prisoner just so Jimmy Carter would go home.
HEADLINE: Snapshot of Economy About to Get a Lot Bleaker
What We Learned Today…
…President Obama has been elected to a second term.
HEADLINE: Conservative Dem lawmaker jokes about Speaker Pelosi dying
What We Learned Today…
…lawmakers shouldn’t joke about something like that it might get our hopes up.
HEADLINE: 603-Pound Thai Woman Leaves Home After 3 Years
What We Learned Today…
…after 3-years the 603-pound Thai woman finally needs to go to the store.
HEADLINE: Bob Dylan’s Ticketless Concert Is A Disaster
What We Learned Today…
…Dylan is getting close: he’s held ticketless concert now if he could only hold soundless concert too.
HEADLINE: Wiki’s Latest Leak: “Not Exactly A Blockbuster”
What We Learned Today…
…Wiki Leaks is having the same problem as Hollywood.
HEADLINE: Vacationing President to Press: “We’re Buying Shrimp, Guys. Come On.”
What We Learned Today…
…it could have been worse, the President could have been buying caviar.
HEADLINE: Letterman Knocks Obama For Latest Vacation
What We Learned Today…
…you know you’re vacationing too much when a guy who works four days a week tells you you’re vacationing too much.
HEADLINE: ‘Crocodile Dundee’ Actor Paul Hogan Barred From Leaving Australia Over Tax Dispute
What We Learned Today…
…looks like we can forget all about that 10th anniversary reunion special for the movie “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles.”
HEADLINE: Players Union to Get NFL Proposal for 18-Game Season
What We Learned Today…
…the NFL Player’s Union is the only union in America that’s actually open to working more.
Posted in WWLT
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Tagged 18-Game Season, Crocodile Dundee, Guys. Come On, Letterman, nfl, obama, Paul Hogan, Players Union, president, We're Buying Shrimp, Wiki's
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HEADLINE: Primaries 2010: McCain Crushes Conservative Challenger
What We Learned Today…
…democrats get a big win in Arizona thanks to McCain’s easy victory.
HEADLINE: Boehner to Obama: Fire Geithner, Summers, Your Entire Economic Team
What We Learned Today…
…Boehner wants Obama to fire a bunch of boners.
HEADLINE: Home sales plunge 27% to lowest level in 15 years
What We Learned Today…
…Recovery Summer not looking so hot.
HEADLINE: Armed Man Breaks Into Paris Hilton’s Home
What We Learned Today…
…even parasites, living-breathing punchlines, human beings with no redeeming qualities are susceptible to being victims of crime. [Hey, cut us some slack, we didn't want to make an obvious Paris-is-a-slut joke.]
HEADLINE: ‘CBS Evening News’ Ties All-Time Low
What We Learned Today…
…headline writers need to be more specific is it an “all-time” in terms of ratings or lack of journalistic integrity?
HEADLINE: Court halts president’s stem cell expansion
What We Learned Today…
…not only is Obama out of touch with the public, he’s also out of touch with the law.
HEADLINE: Company Audits Up, Illegal Worker Arrests Way Down Since 2008
What We Learned Today…
…Obama Administration is basically committing treason by not deporting invaders.
HEADLINE: Miss Mexico is crowned Miss Universe
What We Learned Today…
…Miss Universe pageant makes political statement.
HEADLINE: LA unveils $578M school, costliest in the nation
What We Learned Today…
…“we have fine art murals and a marble memorial of RFK yes we do. We have fine art murals and a marble memorial of RFK how bout you?”
HEADLINE: Tiger Woods’ divorce finalized
What We Learned Today…
…the Tiger doesn’t sleep tonight.
HEADLINE: Iran unveils drone aircraft to counter “aggressors”
What We Learned Today…
…Iran has been unveiling a bunch of scary stuff lately, they are like the Apple of totalitarian regimes.
HEADLINE: Ground Zero Mosque Opponents, Supporters Turn Out to Demonstrate
What We Learned Today…
…even before it’s built the Victory Mosque is already “building bridges” and starting “dialogues.”
HEADLINE: Brad Pitt is ‘willing to look at the death penalty’ in bizarre rant against BP
What We Learned Today…
…if you’re so upset that you’re seeking the death penalty over some silly oil spill chances are you’ve married a real ball-buster.
HEADLINE: Albert Haynesworth has failed every test issued by Mike Shanahan
What We Learned Today…
…Albert Haynesworth has failed every test issued by his boss, sounds like he’s the perfect candidate to work in the Obama Administration.
HEADLINE: ‘The Expendables’ More Like ‘The Dependables’ At Weekend Box Office
What We Learned Today…
…this summer it’s “Eat, pray, Stallone.”
HEADLINE: Obamas take a beach lunch on second vacation day
What We Learned Today…
…it’s only appropriate that Obama lunch on the beach after all most of time his head is in the sand.
[Check out that headline? You can't make the Obamas sound any more pompous or arrogant.]
HEADLINE: Iran starts nuclear reactor, says intent peaceful
What We Learned Today…
…unfortunately Iran is telling the truth about their nuclear reactor but lying about their intentions.
HEADLINE: Bill O’Reilly Slams Kim Kardashian Photos with Justin Bieber
What We Learned Today…
…headline would be a lot better if the word “photos” was removed.
HEADLINE: Heidi Montag “Crying” Over Sex Tape Scandal
What We Learned Today…
…with all of her plastic surgeries it’s good to know Heidi Montag can still cry.
HEADLINE: Strasburg Leaves in Fifth Inning, Grabbing Wrist
What We Learned Today…
…all 11 Nationals fans gasped in horror when they heard news of Strasburg’s wrist.
HEADLINE: Islamic Center Leader Says No Moving From Site Near Ground Zero
What We Learned Today…
…leaders of the ‘Victory Mosque’ are digging in for a fight so they can be a distraction until the economy gets better.
HEADLINE: Israel, Palestinians agree to resume Mideast talks
What We Learned Today…
…it’s time once again for the Jews, on behalf of the West, to make concessions to a group of people who want them eliminated from the face of the Earth.
HEADLINE: Iran prepares to start up first nuclear reactor
What We Learned Today…
…Iran gets ready to start its nuclear reactor, this should be a blast.
HEADLINE: The Rev. Franklin Graham Says President Obama was ‘Born a Muslim’
What We Learned Today…
…if the ‘taqiyah’ fits.
HEADLINE: Clemens indicted for lying to Congress about drug use, ‘in a lot of trouble’
What We Learned Today…
…if anyone can spot a liar it’s members of the United States Congress.
Continue reading →
Posted in WWLT
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Tagged Born a Muslim, Franklin Graham, Ground Zero, Haiti, iran, Islamic, Israel, Mideast talks, nuclear reactor, Palestinians, taqiyah, Wyclef Jean
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